A Study in Scarlet, Black and Blue Part 3

Presented with this information it is easy to get overwhelmed. Seeing it certainly does not make anything easier. Most bullying takes place in front of peers, some in front of adults and even teachers, but few ever intervene. One child standing up can make a difference. Several can make a huge difference. They may get the bully to back off, or the bully may attack them; but either way, the targeted child will know they are not alone. This is a priceless gift, yet few ever give it. Many see, but seldom do they help. “The worst sin to our fellow creature is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that is the essence of inhumanity.” (George Bernard Shaw, quotationsbook.com) Believing there is nothing they can do or not caring, kids turn their backs on their fellow students. Some even join in, leaving behind the role of innocent—or not so innocent—bystander and becoming an active part of the problem.
Not all teens that look away are malicious or apathetic in nature. Many are scared of repercussions or unsure what to do. Though it is doubtful Alfred Milner had bullying in mind when he gave his speech, his words ring true, “If we believe a thing to be bad, and we have the right to prevent it, it is our duty to try and prevent it and to damn the consequences.” (Quotations, 122) Not our choice, not our option—our duty. In stepping up or speaking up, one can give voice to a voiceless bullied child; and the bullied child is not the only one benefited. By bringing attention to the violent and anti-social behavior of a bully, which can lead to them getting help as well. In the book Letters to a Bullied Girl, one former bully said these haunting words, “How I wish someone had told on me.” (41)
In a dark and grueling topic there is a glimmer of hope. Bullies can be reformed. Many of the qualities that made them such a frightful foe can make them strong leaders. The bullied can be saved and can channel their pain outward to help others. The bystander can learn to intervene and make amends for the times they did not. Families, adults and older teens can help. The young emulate those who are around them, and by removing discriminative language from our vocabularies and doing right in our own lives we can give them something to strive for. We can build up the bullies self-confidence so they do not feel they have to pull others down.
We can listen to the bullied, helping them through it without trivializing their pain. Mothers and fathers everywhere are speaking out for their kids through websites, books and even the news. “I am going to speak for him, because he can no longer speak for himself,” says Sirdeaner L Walker, the mother of a victim of bullycide. (ABC News, March 2008) One does not need to be family in order to speak out against injustice, one only needs to have a voice and a heart.
Sisters, Emily and Sarah Buder, were repulsed by the horrible stories of abuse Olivia Gardner suffered at the hands of bullies. Together they put together a program called Olivia’s Letters. What followed was an in pouring of letters from across the country. Letters of encouragement and support for Olivia. These letters may have saved Olivia’s life, and now put together in the form of a book they may save many more, all because of two teenagers.
In a response to my request for tales, one woman wrote the advice passed to her by her teachers, advice that saved her from becoming one more statistic of Bullycide. “It’s four years of your life,” she recalls them saying, “Never let the idiots win by letting yourself be defined by who you are now. It’s who you will become that will determine how you will be remembered. Become better than they could ever hope for. Not money or fame—just someone who will be missed when [you] are gone.” She had a teacher in her life that truly cared, and that saved her life. Having someone in your life may not stop the bullying, but it provides a place to run and someone to cry to. In a five page letter to his parents found after his suicide, Hameed Nastih expressed his desire that people would stop hurting each other. If more remained vigilant and watched out for bullying, and if more people took up the role of actively caring perhaps we could grant this one Bullycide victims final wish.





Work Cited_____________________
Coloroso, Barbara. The Bully, the Bullied and the Bystander. HarperCollins, New York, NY, 2003
Lord Chesterfield. Quotations. HarperCollins, New York, NY, 2005.
Congreve, William. The Way of the World. Nick Hern Books, London, England, 1995.
Wiseman, Rosalind. Queen Bees and Wannabes. Crown Publishing, New York, NY, 2009.
Simmons, Rachael. Odd Girl Out. Hardcourt Books, Orlando Florda, 2002.
Pipher, Mary. Reviving Ophelia. Ballantine Books, New York, NY, 1994.
The Readings “Wanda’s Song” 2004.
Shaw, George Bernard. Quotationsbook. November 18, 2009.
< http://quotationsbook.com/quote/20724/ http://quotationsbook.com/quote/20724/ >
Gardner, Olivia with Buder, Emily and Sarah. Letters to a Bullied Girl. HarperCollins, New York, NY, 2008.
Walker, Sirdeaner L. Bullies Drove Her Son to Death. ABC News, April 10, 2009.
< http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOBukCnr2oQ>